Confessions
by lareinaSelena
Summary: What if Max didn't tell Logan the truth about what happened to Ben at the end of Pollo Loco? M/L, a little angst, etc.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Y'all know the drill 

Disclaimer: Y'all know the drill . . . . I don't own 'em, I just wanna play with them! Hopefully, no one will sue my ass. Trust me, it isn't worth it. All you'll get is about 10,000 dollars in school loans and my Selena collection – some of which MAY be worth something, but I don't know. Just don't bother suing me.

I want to thank my friends Rena and Beth for proofreading and encouraging me; thanks, guys! I also want to thank all the wonderful Fanfiction.net authors whose works have inspired me and kept me going through this Dark Angel drought period known as "in-between seasons" – yuck!

A/N: Ok, here's the deal with this story. It's set one week after Pollo Loco – a little late, I know, but it took a while to write, and what other material do I have but first season, now that the season is over? I saw the end of PL, and I just didn't like it; images literally started bouncing around in my head, demanding to be let out! Now I know what a muse feels like when it's agitated! It runs on the basic premise that Max did not tell Logan that she killed Ben. I know, it's implied in the episode that she tells him, but since they don't come right out and say it, I took advantage of the tiny loophole. It might be a little AU – I have not incorporated any info from subsequent episodes, so pretend they never happened. Ok, thanks for listening to me rant – here's the story!!!

Confessions

Max rode slowly through the streets of Seattle on her way to work. It was pouring rain, which kept most people indoors and gave the city an empty, washed-out look, like a ghost town.

//That's how I feel,// Max thought to herself. //Ever since . . .// her mind shied away from the end of that sentence, not wanting the memories that came with it. Logan had been out of town all week on some mysterious errand, so she'd been left all alone with her thoughts. 

//He wouldn't understand anyway,// she reminded herself. //He knows Ben is dead, but not how. If he knew . . .// she didn't want to finish that thought either. Arriving at Jam Pony, she walked past Normal, who as usual was ranting at her for being late, and went over to the lockers. 

"Hey Boo; what's shakin'?" Max broke out of her thoughts as Original Cindy plopped down next to her on the bench. 

"Nothing," Max shrugged.

"Nothin', huh? Original Cindy ain't even tryin' to hear that, Boo; you soaked all over, your lips is turnin' blue, and you look like you comin' down wit' somethin'," Cindy argued. "Plus, you ain't been right for the last week, ever since that bad-ass killer got caught."

Max jerked away at the mention of Ben. Even though Cindy knew the real deal with her. Max still hadn't told her the truth about Ben and that whole situation. Part of her yearned to break down and tell Cindy everything, to let her best friend hold her and help her deal with it. //You can't,// another part of her mind whispered, a part she tried to keep locked away; a dark and terrifying part that held all of her Manticore memories and training. //If anyone finds out, you'll be all alone.//

"Look, girl . . ." Max's attempt was cut off by a huge yawn, and Original Cindy pounced on it. 

"And that's another thing; when's the last time you got any sleep? Original Cindy keeps hearin' you pacing all over the apartment at all hours of the night! You ain't slept since last week, have you?"

Thankfully, Max was saved from having to answer by Normal. "Let's go, people, bip bip bip!" he yelled. "This is a job, not a day care! Max, hot run, 1215 Euclid!"

Max quickly grabbed the package and headed out the door. //I never thought I'd be grateful to Normal for being an ass,// she thought to herself, smiling. The brief lift in her mood faded as she thought back over the conversation. Original Cindy had been right on practically every point. Max hadn't slept since Ben died; sleeping meant that she would dream, and she couldn't stand to dream, to relive the memories. Also, over the past week, she had been riding in the almost constant rain, seeking oblivion from the water pounding on her skull, and she was starting to feel a little sick. //Shake it off,// she told herself. //You have work to do.// Sighing, she pedaled on through the rain.

Max managed to get through the rest of the day without being cornered by Original Cindy, mostly by going out on as many runs as Normal could give her. She knew that the reprieve wouldn't last, though, given the fact that they shared an apartment. So she biked around in the rain for a few hours after leaving work, not really noticing or caring where she was going, hoping that Cindy would be in bed when she came home. By the time she let herself into the apartment, sometime around midnight, she was feeling worse than she had at the beginning of the day. 

"Max! Where the hell you been Boo?" Original Cindy's voice made Max jump nearly a foot in the air. Turning from the door, which she had been trying to close quietly, she met not only Cindy's face but Kendra's as well.

"Kendra? What are you doing here?" Max asked in confusion. It was suddenly hard for her brain to process information.

"Original Cindy called me and asked me to come over; she was worried about you." Kendra informed her. "And now that I see you, I agree with her – Max, you look like hell."

"Thanks," Max muttered. She leaned her bike against the wall and started for her bedroom, intending to bypass the conversation altogether. Unfortunately, her legs chose that time to give out; if Original Cindy hadn't caught her, she would have ended up on the floor.

"Aiight, Boo; no more arguments, into bed you go." Max tried to protest weakly as she was tucked into her bed, but found that she was too exhausted. As Cindy finished up, Kendra entered the room with a glass of milk in her hand.

"Here Max, drink this; you'll feel better," she urged. Max did as she asked, but as the milk went down, she noticed a strange aftertaste.

"What's with this milk?" she demanded. "It tastes like . . ." Suddenly she couldn't keep her eyes open, and an enormous yawn overtook her.

"It's just somethin' to help you sleep, shuga," Original Cindy explained, smoothing Max's hair. "Rest, Max; you need it."

"No . . ." Max struggled to keep her eyes open, but it was too late. Against her will, sleep claimed her, and she dreamed.

Ok, was that enough of a cliffhanger? I hope so; this is my first DA fic, so I'm hoping I've done ok. Oh, BTW, yes, Max does sleep and she does get sick. Just go along with me on those and I'll give you a peanut butter cookie I made myself!!! I've been missing Kendra lately in the series, so that's why she's here. Please Read and Review; I'll only post the next bit if I get 235 reviews!!! LOL, just kidding, but please do tell me what you think. Please try not to flame me, but if you do, 'tis ok, I shall make S'mores!!! The next part will be up soon, I promise!

lareina_Selena

email: [lareina95@hotmail.com][1] – any ideas for future events, sequels, other fics, etc, are welcome! 

   [1]: mailto:lareina95@hotmail.com



	2. Chapter 2

Story: Confessions

Story: Confessions

Author: lareina_Selena

A/N: Ok, peeps, here's chapter 2! I got so many very sweet and supportive reviews that I decided to get the next bit out as soon as possible. I want to thank everyone who reviewed – see what happens when you review? It's entirely possible that if you say nice things about this chapter, the next one will also come out fast!

Story note: Ok, as you all know, at the end of the last chapter, Max was drugged by her well-intentioned roommates. What does she dream? Let's find out!

Disclaimer – Y'all know the drill, I don't own 'em, y'all know who does, no one sue.

Oh, and thanks again to my proofreaders, Rena and Beth, for their help and support.

Confessions, Chapter 2

~~Flashback~~

_Max lashed out with a kick, catching Ben in the leg; from the sound, she knew she had broken it. Then they both froze, hearing the sound of helicopters overhead._

"Don't leave me here; don't let them take me," Ben begged, his eyes filled with fear.

Max's mind raced, trying to think of a way to save them both; she failed. "Ben, I can't carry you, we'll both get caught," she told him.

"I know," Ben insisted, fighting a wave of pain. He looked her in the eyes, and Max felt her heart break as she read the message they held.

"Ben, I can't –" she began, tears forming in her eyes, but he cut her off, his eyes full of his own tears.

"Please?" he begged. "You know what they'll do to me. They'll put me down there with them – the 'Nomlies. Please?" 

Max let her mind wander, remembering the past, and the 'Nomlies, and she made a decision. "Tell me about the Good Place," she said quietly.

Ben smiled, remembering the story he'd told when they were children. "Where no one ever gets punished . . ."

"And no one gets yelled at," Max continued, reciting the story she knew by heart but hadn't thought of in years. She prayed to whoever was listening that it was true.

"And nobody disappears," Ben chimed in, his eyes distant. "And when you wake up in the morning, you can stay in bed as long as you-" He was cut off by the sharp and final sound of cracking bone. 

Max looked down at her brother, finally at peace after enduring such pain. Then, the enormity of what she had done hit her full force, and she burst into tears.

Suddenly, she felt Ben stir in her arms; his eyes opened, and he grinned at her. "See, Maxie?" he whispered. "I told you, this is what we were made for." His face hardened. "You're a murderer – you killed me!"

"No, Ben, I-" Max began, but suddenly his hands were around her throat, choking her, and he was screaming, "Murderer! You killed me! Murderer!"

"No!" Max screamed -

-And found herself sitting up in bed, still screaming.

"Max, wake up!" She became aware of Original Cindy, holding her by the shoulders and shaking her. "You're having a bad dream, Boo; snap out of it!"

Max tried to focus on where she was, on Cindy and the present, but the lingering images of her dream blanketed her mind in fear and invoked her flight instinct; her mind cast about frantically, and finally seized on a destination. 

"I have to go." Max pulled away from Original Cindy and ran for the door, brushing past someone else on the way out. She grabbed her messenger bike rather than her Ninja in her rush to get out of the apartment, her mind moving on autopilot.

"Max, wait!" Original Cindy ran out of the bedroom after her and almost collided with Kendra, who had gone to the market.

"What happened?" Kendra gasped.

"She had a bad dream," Cindy explained. "I don't think she's all the way out of it yet; she didn't seem to know where she was. Did she say anything to you?"

Kendra shook her head. "She was mumbling something, but I'm not sure what it means. We'd better go after her!"

The two girls ran out of the apartment; when they hit the street, they caught a glimpse of Max, heading south out of the city, but she quickly disappeared from view.

"Damn!" Original Cindy swore. "We'll never catch her on foot, Maybe-" she was cut off by a voice behind her.

"Original Cindy! Kendra! What's going on?" The two girls turned around to see Logan and Bling approaching.

"Logan!" Kendra's eyes widened as she took in his appearance. "What-"

"It's a long story; I'll tell you later," Logan interrupted. "Now, what's going on?"

"It's Max," Original Cindy told him. "She ain't right." Between the two of them, she and Kendra managed to fill the two men in on what had been going on with Max over the past week. 

"You said she was muttering something when she ran out," Bling put in. "Could you hear what it was?"

Kendra frowned. "It sounded something like 'Ben' and 'the good place'; I'm not really sure what it means."

"I think I know," Logan said grimly. "Max told me where Ben died; in the woods just south of the city. I think that's where she's going. Come on; we have to find her." With that, the four of them set off in search of their friend.

Ok, I know it's a little shorter than the last one, but it seemed like a good place to stop. Where has Logan been? Why was Kendra so surprised to see him? Review, and you will find out! evil chuckle!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, peeps

Hey, peeps! Here's chapter three! I'm really sorry for making you wait; I was planning to upload this yesterday, but I had major computer troubles. Thanks to everyone who reviewed; it's so nice to know someone out there likes what I'm doing! A special thanks to my proofreaders, Rena and Beth, for their help. Ok, enough yap, on with the story! Logan and the others have gone in search of Max – what will they find?

Confessions, chapter three

Max had managed to get past the Sector Police and out of the city; she was halfway to her destination when the trembling began in her hands. She barely noticed, so focused was she on her goal.

When she reached the clearing in the woods where she and Ben had fought, Max stood very still, letting every memory wash over her. "Ben, I'm sorry," she whispered. "Please, forgive me. Let me know you're in the good place?" Sinking to her knees, she wept for her brother, for the boy who had escaped Manticore physically but who had never been able to fully escape it's teachings. 

After several minutes, her tears subsided, and Max went to stand up. That was when the seizure she'd been ignoring struck full force, and she collapsed to the ground, shaking hard.

"My meds. . . ." Max swore at herself as she remembered her Tryptophan pills, sitting in her Jam Pony messenger bag, on the floor of her apartment where she'd dropped it the night before. The tremors increased with alarming severity, and Max was forced to give in to them, curling up in a ball and praying for the nightmare to end. 

After several minutes of negotiations with the Sector Police, Logan and the others reached the woods outside the city. "All right; spread out, see if you can find her," Logan directed. "Try to stay within sight of each other; we don't need anyone else getting lost."

They had only been searching for a short time when Original Cindy called out. "She's over here – quick!" When Logan got to where she was, his heart dropped at the sight of Max, unconscious on the ground, shaking in the grip of a full-blown seizure. "She's burning up," Cindy reported, laying her hand on Max's head. "We gotta get her out of here."

Logan gathered Max into his arms, wincing as he felt the heat of the fever, even through her clothes. "We'd better hurry," he said, turning to the others. "Bling, will you drive?"

The ride back to the city didn't take long, but to Logan it seemed an eternity. As he sat in the back with Original Cindy, holding a still-seizing Max, he cursed himself for leaving her so completely alone over the past week. //What would I do without her?// he wondered; as he contemplated a life without Max, Logan discovered that it wasn't a pleasant prospect.

//She can't die, not yet; I love her, I-// that thought stopped Logan cold. //Wait, I _love_ her?// He searched for the basis of that thought, and discovered that it was true. He loved his Dark Angel, and he wasn't about to let her go.

Once back at Logan's apartment, everyone went in different directions. While Logan settled Max in his bedroom, Bling went in search of the liquid Tryptophan that was kept there for emergencies. Kendra and Original Cindy were in the bathroom with as much ice as they'd been able to find, making a cold bath to bring down Max's fever.

Logan found himself holding his breath as Bling injected the Tryptophan into Max. "Come on," he muttered to himself. "Come on, hurry up!" Finally, after several long minutes, the shaking eased off and stopped; both men sighed loudly in relief.

"We've got the bath," Kendra called from the bathroom. "Is she ready?"

"Coming," Logan called back. He gently picked up Max, who was now almost bonelessly limp, and took her into the bathroom. Leaving the two girls to take care of their friend, he and Bling retreated to the living room.

Logan tried to keep his mind distracted by throwing himself into some Eyes Only work. He gave up, however, after realizing that he'd read a file three times without absorbing any of the information. Finally, Cindy called from the bathroom that they were done, and Logan went to bring Max back into the bedroom. She was shaking again, but this time from the cold of the ice bath. Logan laid a hand on her forehead, and was disturbed to find it still abnormally warm. "Kendra, why does she still have a fever?" he asked.

"We couldn't bring it down all the way; it was just too high," the slight blond girl explained. "The fact that she's shivering means it's down low enough that her body can fight it on its own."

Logan caught the slight hesitation in her voice. "What else is there, Kendra?"

Kendra sighed, and gestured helplessly. "I'm no doctor, Logan, but I used to work in a hospital. Patients with fevers as high as Max – well, they were lucky to escape brain damage."

Fear clutched at Logan's heart as he considered the possibility that Max might come back to him only a shell of the woman she had been. "Thank you for telling me, Kendra," he said evenly. "May I have a moment alone with her, please?"

"Try to get her to take these," Original Cindy advised, pressing some pills into his hand. "They should help with the fever. We'll be right outside." Logan noticed that Cindy's usual brash street slang had vanished, an indication of how worried she was.

"Thanks, Cindy," he said softly. "For being here."

Original Cindy smiled. "Anything for my Boo."

Ok, peeps! How did I do? Just so you know, I have no medical knowledge; anything vaguely medical that appears in here, I have no idea whether it's true or not. Please don't flame me; I'll only make S'mores! Please R again, I apologize for not updating sooner. The next bit may or may not be out tomorrow; my supervisor at work wants to have a conference with me, since she'll be on vacation next week. I'll get it out if I can. Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, guys, here's the next bit

Ok, guys, here's the next bit! This one's going to be a little short; the conference today lasted about 45 minutes, and then I had a lot of work to do and catch up on, so this is all you'll get! I'll post more next week, ok? Promise! Muchas gracias to my readers, Rena and Beth, and to everyone who's read and reviewed this story. Honestly, I didn't think you guys were going to get so excited! Thanks; it means a lot. Ok, let's see what happens to Max!

Confessions, chapter 4

The next two days passed by in a haze for Logan. He spent all of his time with Max, giving her pills for the fever and Tryptophan when she seized. Original Cindy and Kendra spent every minute there when they weren't working; Bling used that time to force Logan to shower and eat. At night, he held Max in his arms and whispered to her, urging her to wake up, before falling asleep. He usually didn't get much sleep, though; every time Max turned or shifted in her sleep, Logan snapped awake, anticipating an emergency.

On the third day, Original Cindy stopped by on her way to Jam Pony. "Hey there, Whiteboy; how's my homegirl?" she asked as she entered the bedroom.

"She's still a little feverish, but just barely," Logan told her, laying his hand on Max's forehead. "She hasn't had a seizure since yesterday afternoon. I'm hoping she wakes up today. Did Normal give you any trouble over that doctor's note?"

"Nah, he just muttered somethin' 'bout how she better show up soon or she'll be out of a job – you know, the usual," Original Cindy shrugged. "He ain't gonna do nothin'; Max is his best rider, and he knows it. Later, Whiteboy!"

Logan managed a halfhearted wave as Cindy left, his attention returning to the woman in front of him. "Did you hear that, Max?" he asked. "I'm expecting you to wake up today. I'm cooking dinner for Bling and the girls tonight – you wouldn't want to miss my latest culinary miracle, would you?" The momentary smile dropped from his face. "You have to wake up, and be all right," he whispered. "Don't make me live without you – I can't do it."

At that point, the exhaustion of the last few days caught up with him; laying his head on his arm, Logan held tightly to Max's hand as he drifted off to sleep.

~~dream~~

Logan looked up with a start, and was surprised to find himself in a ballroom. The large room was decorated for a party, but there were no people. //This is the same ballroom Max and I danced in, back when . . .// Logan's thoughts trailed off as he remembered the dream they'd shared in the hospital, while Max was saving his life with her blood. Suddenly, he felt a touch on his arm and turned, knowing exactly what he would find.

"Hey." Max was wearing the same dress from their last dream; her hair was up, with just enough down in the back to hide her barcode. She smiled at him, and tugged on his arm. "Come on – enough thinking, let's dance."

"Max, what-" Logan began, but was cut off by a finger on his lips.

"Don't," she whispered. "Just dance with me."

Logan automatically obeyed, putting his arms around her and beginning a slow waltz to the music his mind subconsciously identified as Valse Triste. He gave himself over completely to the fantasy; closing his eyes, he danced with the woman he loved.

"Logan . . ." he heard her voice whisper. "Open your eyes."

"No . . ." He didn't want to; opening his eyes would ruin the fantasy.

"Logan, wake up!!" His eyes snapped open as he felt a slight tug on his hand. Lifting his head, he found himself staring into Max's tired, but still beautiful, chocolate eyes.

Ok, peeps, that's it! I'm leaving work in a minute; I'll try to post more over the weekend, but I don't know if I'll be able to. Please don't scream at me; just be patient!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, guys, here's some more

Hey, guys, here's some more!!! I'm sorry for not uploading over the weekend, but the site was having some problems. It seems to be having them still today, so I don't know if this will get up today, which is Monday, or tomorrow, Tuesday. Anyway, I want to thank Rena and Beth for proofreading, and all you wonderful people who have been reviewing and begging for more! I appreciate it; you guys are the best! Ok, so Max is awake – what will happen now?????

Confessions, chapter 5

"Hey," she said softly, a tired smile lighting her face. 

"Hey yourself," Logan replied, his brain struggling to process the fact that she was really awake. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been doing live ordinance drills for two days straight," Max shrugged; Logan grinned to see her old cocky attitude coming back. "Not too bad, actually. How long have I been out?"

Logan checked the clock, and was surprised to find out it was late in the afternoon. "Almost 3 days; you had a pretty high fever. We were all worried about you." Seeing the confused look on Max's face, he explained. "Kendra, Original Cindy, and Bling; they helped me find you, and they've been over here every minute they could be. In fact, Cindy was by just this morning. They should all be back in a little bit for dinner; feel up to joining us?"

"Sure; I'm starving!" Max agreed. "I think I need a bath first, though; I feel so gross." She paused, and grinned impishly at him. "Care to transport me to the bathroom?"

Logan had to suppress a smile, although not due to the thoughts Max had tried to provoke. //Now's the perfect time,// he thought to himself. "Sure," he said aloud. Pulling back the covers, he gathered Max into his arms and stood.

"Logan!" Max gasped as she was lifted into the air. "You're standing? But – how? What happened?"

Logan grinned as he carried her into the bathroom. "That's where I was all week – undergoing an experimental surgery in New York. Surprised?"

"Totally!" Max admitted. In the bathroom, Logan set her down on the toilet and turned to begin drawing the bath. After several moments of silence, he turned back to find Max biting her lip and looking down. 

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"Logan – about this past week . . ." Max looked up, and Logan was surprised to see uncertainty in her eyes.

"I know you've been having some problems," he told her gently. "I figured I'd let you tell me about them when you were ready."

"Will we have time to talk before the others get here?" Max asked.

"Yeah; they're not coming for another hour or so," Logan told her. "It's only 6:00, and dinner's not until 8. So come on out after your bath, and we'll talk while I make dinner, ok?"

"Ok," Max agreed with a smile. Once the bath was ready, Logan withdrew to the kitchen and began assembling ingredients.

When Max arrived in the kitchen, she was wearing the same red robe she'd worn after Ben died. Logan forced down his memories of that night, of the pictures Lydecker had sent him that seeing the robe invoked, and waited for her to speak.

"I remember the last time I wore this," Max said softly, plucking at the robe's sleeves. "Do you?" At Logan's nod, she went on. "Do you remember what I told you? About what happened with Ben?"

"You said you fought, and that he was killed by a sniper from one of Lydecker's helicopters," Logan replied.

"Some of that was true," Max confessed. "We did fight – I broke his leg. That's when we heard the helicopters." Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued. "Ben begged me not to let them take him; he was afraid that they would put him in the basement with the 'Nomlies. I couldn't carry him, and he knew it."

"He wanted you to kill him?" Logan guessed. His heart broke to see the answering pain on Max's face.

"It was the only thing I could do," she whispered. "I couldn't let them take him."

Logan abandoned the vegetables he was chopping and moved over to where she was sitting. "Why didn't you tell me this to begin with?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

Max didn't meet his eyes. "I couldn't," she whispered. "To admit that I'm just a cold-blooded killer, a monster who kills her own brother? I couldn't bear to admit that to you; your opinion means so much to me."

She was holding something back; Logan could see it. "What else is there, Max?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Max, please tell me," he begged. "I love you; won't you let me share your pain? We can get through it together."

Max's eyes shot up to meet his, and they sat in silence for a moment, both of them shocked by Logan's admission.

"You – love me?" Max asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Logan didn't trust himself to speak, so he nodded. A look of wonder came over Max's face as she continued. "Logan – I love you too. That's the main reason why I didn't tell you about this before; I was afraid you wouldn't love me if you knew the truth."

"Oh, Max," Logan whispered, cupping her face in his hands. "I will always love you. I know who you are; there is nothing you could ever do to change my feelings for you." Gently, he kissed the tears that were falling down her face; then, ever so softly, he kissed her lips. This kiss was far from the one they had shared before, when they feared being separated forever. That kiss had been full of all their suppressed passion and longing; this one held only the promise of undying love.

Ok, am I totally evil now for stopping here? I know there are people who have told me in previous reviews that I am evil (in a good way, of course) but I want to see how many of you agree. I'll post more soon, hopefully ff.net will be working properly and will allow me to! As always, please read and review!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

:drum fanfare: All right peeps, here it is – THE LAST CHAPTER

:drum fanfare: All right peeps, here it is – THE LAST CHAPTER!!! I would stretch it out longer if I could, but the truth is, there's just no good stopping place between here and the end that wouldn't be a totally dorky place to stop. I haven't got any plans to write a sequel, mostly because I can't think of anything to do with them from here. If you do, please feel free to make suggestions in your reviews – please don't just threaten to kill me :shoots glance at reviewer marie: LOL, just kidding marie, thanks for your enthusiasm. You guys remind me of me reviewing some of my favorite stories; I can be pretty desperate too! A big thank you to Rena and Beth for proofreading, and to Lady Callie for her supportive reviews; it means a lot coming from an author whose stories I have thoroughly enjoyed myself! :blows LC a kiss: Thanks, chica! And to all of you, many many thanks for liking my story so much, and giving me the encouragement to keep posting! :Blows kisses to all reviewers: Ok, ok, enough yap, on with the story!!!

Confessions, chapter 6

The moment was broken by the ringing of the doorbell. Logan smiled gently at Max as they broke apart. "That should be Bling and the girls," he said quietly.

"We could always ignore it; maybe they'll think we're not home," Max suggested, her eyes sparkling.

"I don't think they'd buy it," Logan disagreed. "Besides, they've been worried about you; I think we should let them know you're ok. Why don't you answer the door, and I'll finish making the salad, ok?"

Max pouted slightly, but did as he asked. "Oh, and be careful," Logan called out as she headed for the door. "Kendra's bringing over Pasta Tricolore; don't scare her too much, or she'll drop it."

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" Max agreed as she reached the door. Pulling it open, she grinned at the three shocked faces on the other side. "Hey there, kids," she announced. "What's shakin'?"

"Max!" Kendra gasped. Her hands flew to her mouth in surprise, which meant the covered dish she had previously been holding began to fall. Fortunately, Max had expected that reaction, and managed to catch the container before it hit the floor. 

"Whoah there, Kendra!" she said, laughing. "What are you trying to do, ruin dinner? We're supposed to be celebrating!" She carried the pasta into the kitchen and set it on the counter, then turned back to find the three of them still standing in the doorway. "Well, what are you waiting for?" she demanded. "Somebody get over here and hug me!"

That seemed to break the spell; suddenly, Max found herself engulfed in a group hug by her very relieved friends. Kendra cried openly, and even Original Cindy seemed a little misty. Bling just smiled, but Max could tell from the relief in his face how worried he'd been. Logan came out with the salad just then, so they all sat down to eat.

"So Max; what happened?" Kendra asked. "What was going on with you this week?"

Max shared an uneasy look with Logan, who was sitting across from her; of the four people at the table, Kendra was the only one who didn't know the truth about her. "Well," she said slowly, gathering her thoughts. "You remember last week, those bodies that turned up in the woods?"

"Yeah," Kendra said, nodding. "The underground papers were full of rumors about the killer. I heard he got caught, though."

"He did," Max said slowly. Taking a deep breath, she continued on. "He was my brother."

Kendra gasped. "Oh, Max, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. "I didn't even know you had a brother."

"We were split up when we were young," Max explained. "Anyway, I found out what he was doing, and I – turned him in, so he couldn't kill anymore." Logan watched the sadness spread over her face, and reached out to take her hand. Original Cindy raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing. 

"You did the right thing, Max," Kendra offered sympathetically. "You couldn't let him keep killing people. I'm sure he'll understand, someday."

"I hope so," Max said softly. "So after that, I was having a hard time dealing; spent too much time riding around in the rain, so I got sick." She forced a smile. "Guess I overdid it, huh?"

"I'll say," Kendra agreed. "Next time, just come to us, ok? You know there isn't anything you can't tell us."

"That's right, Boo," Original Cindy jumped in quickly; probably to cover the fact that she'd been so quiet during Max's 'story'. "Me and Kendra got your back, aiight?"

Max couldn't help but laugh; with the mood lightened, dinner moved on. As curfew neared, Bling offered to drive the girls home.

"You guys go ahead," Max told them. "I'm gonna stay a while, help clean up."

"Are you sure? It's dangerous to be out after curfew." Kendra objected. 

"I'll be fine; if it gets too late, I'll just crash here," Max assured her. 

Kendra seemed satisfied with that; she hugged Max tightly once again and headed for the door. Original Cindy followed, but paused to look Max square in the eye.

"That was a good story you cooked up, Boo," she said quietly. "Tomorrow, I want the whole story – and the truth, aiight?"

"You got it," Max told her softly. "Thanks, for being there for Logan."

Cindy shrugged. "I was just makin' sure Whiteboy kept his hands off you while you was sick. 'Course, with you back on your feet, and him too . . ." she gave Max a suggestive look.

Laughing, Max pushed her towards the door. "Go home; I'll see you tomorrow."

Original Cindy grinned as she hugged Max goodbye. "Aiight – but I want all the details of you and Logan too, or Original Cindy will put the smackdown on your ass, just out of your sickbed or not!"

Once the three of them had left, Max helped Logan clear the table, then went to sit with him on the couch.

"I was proud of you tonight," Logan said quietly, playing with her hair. "That can't have been easy, lying to Kendra."

Max sighed as she curled up into his arms, relishing the feeling of safety she only seemed to find there. "It was one of the hardest things I've ever done," she admitted finally. "I mean, not telling her who I am – that's mostly evasion. She hasn't asked, and I haven't told. Nobody asks too many questions these days; most people have pasts they'd rather forget. But this was different. I looked her right in the face and flat-out lied to her."

"I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better," Logan whispered. "I wish I could tell you that Lydecker will never come here again looking for you, that he won't find Kendra the way the Reds found Original Cindy, that he won't hurt Kendra or your other friends to get to you. I wish I could tell you all that; I wish I could make him go away altogether. But I can't."

Max smiled up at him. "I know," she told him. "But thank you for wanting to; that helps."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Logan spoke again. "Since this has turned into a night of confessions, I have another one for you."

Sensing from his tone that this was something serious, Max sat up and turned to face him. "What is it?" she asked.

"This brings back more memories than you think," Logan admitted, tugging at the sleeve of her robe. "While that whole thing was going down with Ben, I was worried about you. There was something going on that you weren't telling me, so I – I contacted Lydecker."

Max's breath caught in her throat, and her eyes widened. "You did what?" she demanded. "Are you crazy? What if he had figured out who you are?"

"He didn't have the chance," Logan assured her. "I made him come alone to the contact room, and encrypted the signal a half-dozen different ways; there's no way he could have traced it. I tried to press him about Ben, to get information about what was going on, but he turned the tables on me. He had figured out that I was helping you, and he tried to drive a wedge between us. He told me I had no idea who you were, that you weren't the girl next door. He said you were designed to kill, and all you needed was a trigger. That night, after everything was over, he sent me pictures of you and the others after one of your training exercises."

"Let me guess," Max said softly, her eyes distant. "There was a dead man; he was covered in blood, and so were we." Her eyes filled with tears. "I've tried so hard to forget about that day, what we did; but I never can. Lydecker's right – I'm not the girl next door, I'm trouble."

"You're not trouble; you're beautiful," Logan said firmly, taking her in his arms. "I shredded those pictures. It doesn't matter what Lydecker says; it doesn't matter what you did back then. You didn't know anything but violence then; you've changed, and I've seen you change."

"But what if I have to run?" Max whispered against his chest. "I couldn't stand to leave you behind, not now."

"You won't have to," Logan assured her. "I'm not letting you go again; if you run, I run. I love you."

"I love you too; but I'm scared," Max admitted. "I've never felt this way about anyone, and I don't know if I can handle it."

"I know you're scared," Logan soothed her, stroking her hair. "I know you are; I'm scared too. But we can do it together, if we trust each other. Do you trust me, Max?"

"With my life," Max assured him.

"Well, then I think we'll be all right," Logan said with a smile. The two of them lay together on the couch for a long time, talking about the future, and everything that young couples in love talk about. In a broken world, people can make their own future; as she lay in the arms of the man she loved, Max was sure that they would make theirs the best.

Ok, people, that's it! Was the ending too cheesy? I wasn't sure about it, but it sounds good! I want to thank Nautica7mk for the idea about Logan and Max discussing the pictures; I don't know if that's what you had in mind, Nautica, but thanks anyway; I think it really helped the story! Ok, PLEASE read and review; I have certain ideas in mind for other stories, probably short ones, but if there's anything you'd like to see covered that you think hasn't been covered, or not covered well, please feel free to make suggestions. My DA muse has been freed, and I may never get her back under control!!! Later, peeps!

Kelly Pierce

lareina_Selena  



End file.
